When my pastor said a person is the strongest when they are at their weakest, I was a little blur at that statement.

    Then today I realize what it really is all about..

    Sorry for bombarding you guys at school with rants on how an adopted child is not worthy of beating me in SPM. I feel so bad now. What woke me up? When my mum came into my room and saw my desktop background, in fluorescent colours, this motto for SPM. "KICK ADOPTED CHILD'S ASS TO THE GROUND IN SPM SOOOO BAD SHE CAN NEVER GET BACK UP".


     Yes, I have stoop so low. Then mum started telling me about a lot of things that I have to be grateful for. And trust me, I'm ultra blessed. 




Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18


     Ngeh, I 'm resorting to quoting bible verses in my blog now. But it's true. My biggest problem is I am a person full of pride. That explains my inability to accept criticism, my type A attitude and me being mean-spirited in order to be the best. But being all that has not worked in my favour at all. Because to be the top, I have become someone I don't like at all. Was it worth it? No! Because at the end of the day, grades cannot define a person.




Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. Colossians 3:23


     For the longest time, I've been working so hard to gain approval. Approval from my parents, from my teachers, distant relatives, peers, strangers etc... But it was never about whether if this is really what God wants for me. 




What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? Luke 9:25


     All I can say is I'm sick and tired of receiving superficial accolades, because it means nothing when I feel all empty inside. I want to feel again what I felt the time I was at church camp 2 years ago. I felt a joy that was indescribable because that was when I received God for the first time.
      


Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8


     And I will try my very best to stop mocking and having preconceived judgement towards others. I'll do my best to show others the same love that I received from God.




I will never fail you or forsake you. Hebrews 13:5
     
     I'm claiming that promise today. Whatever that happens today, I'll bear through it and I will not worry about tomorrow because tomorrow will worry about itself. In everything, I'm letting go and letting God.
 


Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Psalm 143:8

OH, WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY....

     To wake up and realize that today is the Biology exam and the upcoming four days will be a rush of Chemistry, more Biology Add Maths, Physics and Literature. Great.

     Scared? Of course not! Having my heart beat right out of my chest and those pesky butterflies in my stomach everytime before I sit for a paper is not me being scared. Of course not!

     How hard can it be? Surely, our Ministry of Education will consider our 'ULU' students right? I mean Kinabatangan and Sook and Nabawan and Pitas, all this places, surely their standards are in the so-called graph, right?

     So, it's going to be okay. The ministry have clearly showed their concern towards us Sabahans and it has be proven from the Physics exam we just had which surely is an indicator on how EASY this whole week is going to be.

     Therefore, I will like to say thank you the whoever is coming up with the exam questions for this year. Thank you for making life easy and unstressful and thank you for giving us school students a reason to not wear our unit beruniform's uniform. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU BITCH.

Attention whore!

     STOP SPAMMING MY EFFKING C-BOX YOU, YOU GODDAMN SON OF A... You know what, I'm not even going to degrade female dogs by relating you to them. God must have a sense of humour when he created you losers.... Idiots, get a life! If you don't know how or where to get it, for heaven's sake, google it! God, such low lives...

      Meanwhile, my life's going nowhere. This is what you get when you aim super high, to the point of being, dare I say it? UNREALISTIC. Nerd, I know you're just saying I can cause I'm your friend bah kan?! This is effed up, I can't wait for 9th of December, FREEDOM!!!!

     Why must life be so hard? Sometimes right, I wish my life is a musical. I wish I could just start singing for no reason whatsoever and then random strangers would just bust out in synchronized dance moves all around me.

     And last week, good Lord, was the Day Of Stupidity.

Mirabel here was stalked.

By a bunch of stupid fucks.(i know it's swearing, i'll ask for forgiveness later)

It started out like this. I went out to buy books for, well, studying. Like hell I'm going to succumb to being a mediocre student. Anyway, I digress.

      So,  I went to Eatons, and as I was entering the store, there was a group of four guys, in their twenties hanging about near the store but I couldn't really give a damn.

I am after all a woman on a mission.

I think I spent over an hour in the store looking over the books to

a) increase my brain level

b) with really good answer schemes (so I can, you know, 'refer')

c) within the budget or my dad will turn homicidal.



     Finally, I settled on a few books from obscure but awesome publishers cause, I just don't like the idea of having the same books as other people. I have standards. And best part is, its only within the budget because there were discounts. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'm gonna read and do the exercises and feel...smarter.


      So after keeping the shop assistants busy for over an hour and damn happy with my selection I decided to do some window fiction books shopping.  Its when I was browsing some fantasy books that I noticed that there were two of the guys in the near me. There was nothing peculiar over two guys browsing for books. What's peculiar was that they were in front of the section where they were selling historical romance novels. And when I was looking, they both were sooooo into searching for a book.


Okay, two gay dudes who probably enjoy reading historical romance to each other and anal sex.


Yeah, okay. I'm down with that.


Then I left and check out jewelery boxes in Daiso and the two guys are still there. This time looking at vases. Glass vases with intricate flowery designs.


Okay, so on top of reading historical romance to each other and anal sex, they probably also playing house together.



Yeah, okay. I'm down with that.



Then it all finally clicks when the I was in Watson's looking at sanitary pads and guess who were looking at pads too? Uh huh....yeah. Doesn't seem so gay now and I feel stupid as fuck (Yes, I'll ask for forgiveness for that too). Then one of the guys smiled at me and asked what my name is. That's right huney, make your move by the sanitary pads. In a drugstore.


Classy.



      I smiled to be polite and then walked away. They followed me around and then tried to made contact by sanitary pads. Like hello? I don't come near at all to being as hot as Scarlett Johansson or ever been the pretties girl in the room but I do need someone with a minute level of brain functionality. Clearly they don't have this. Plus, they were pilaks. I won't go near a pilak even with a 40 feet pole.


So that concluded my day in stupidity. Wasn't the first time I was stalked by pilaks though. Pilaks like to stalk women apparently. God...when is there going to be a law that legalize people to shoot pilaks on sight? Oh wait was that too harsh?














Its supposed to be.



:p

HIATUS

     I JUST CAN'T DO IT RIGHT NOW.......... BLOGGING IS NOT A PRIORITY AT THIS STAGE :(

Just because

Mum Me

You wanna have another adik kah?
For the last time, NO!!!!
Oh, but I think my period is late
It's called menopause
*laughs maniacally* So bad oh u kan *continues laughing*


-__-"

You know what would look good on you? Me

    Happy 50th post to me! Remember all the times when all we had were pick up lines?

I'm in the midst of doing my Add Maths project right now, not cause I'm rajin, but because I'll be very busy this WHOLE holiday. Then I realized just how stupid it is, this whole project I mean. Look at this question!

REFLECTION
While you were conducting the project, what have you learnt? What moral values did you practise? Represent your opinions or feelings creatively through usage of symbols, illustrations, drawings or even in a song.

WTF?!

     BTW, I just want to clear something up. Me finishing the majority of the exam papers WAAAAY earlier than everyone and then sending them as soon as I finished was not me trying to rub into other people's faces that I'm so smart and all.

     Because I'm not, okay. Look at me, and tell me what do you see. A normal, nothing special person kan. I'm not WAA, period. I'm just soooo thoroughly unprepared for that examination that I couldn't handle having a piece of paper which I can't answer on my table for hours at end. Frankly, the lack of studying  is now coming back to bit me in the tush.

Look at this abomination.
M3= 86%
+M3=77%
ENG LIT= 60%

When I saw my results, my heart literally fell to the ground. It's like the pit of my stomach became hollower. You know, how losers should feel on a daily basis. After I get all the results, I'll post it, my very own wall of shame.

BTW, all my science papers? They can go to hell. I'm so disappointed at myself, I need to find a way to get me out of this not-studying rut.


P/S: Whateves, Singapore is tomorow!

YOU MIGHT HAVE TO LOSE CONTROL BEFORE YOU COULD FIND WHAT YOU'D BEEN MISSING

      The education system of Singapore is really designed to mess with Malaysians' mind. Imma tell this once and after this, my lips are sealed about this.

     Day 1 of Hell

     Went to Sunway Pyramid Convention Centre for the M3 and English test. saw the board and gasp when I found out 373 people are sitting for the test in KL alone. Sat for M3 test 1st, and basically spent the next two hours staring at the paper. Handed in the paper, practically blank, cause to tell u the truth, their M3 is WAAAY harder than our +M3. Yes, +M3.

     Then sat for the English paper. 1st paper was basically asking you to give definitions and explain the definitions for a few words and terms which even the most civilised and urbanised Malaysians would never hear about. After that, had to make a summary based on a passage, which was very nice to read btw. But still, it was hard.

     Then came the 2nd English paper. 30 minutes given to write a 350 words essay which can hopefully knock the invigilators out of their socks. 2 topics were given and I chose to write about my views regarding what students learn when they get involved in social or voluntary work.

     Mine was so sappy I practically cringe the whole way. BTW, I ended my essay with this quote. "Who can put a law unto love? Love is unto itself the highest law". Don't ask me how it is relevant to the essay, my guess is as good as yours


     Day 2 of Hell

Hence came the General Ability paper, which is basically an IQ test. They gave 20 minutes for us to finish 48 questions! BUDU! It was all about shapes and colours and after I finished the paper with three minutes to spare, I just lay my head down cause I was beginning to get drowsy. The guy sitting next to me? He couldn't finish about 8 questions. HAHAHAHAHA, LOSER. Woooi, haven't you heard of the phrase, "tembak saja lar?!" Such nerds.

Let me break down the population okay. Among the 900++ people who came for the test (including Sec 1, Seec 3 and Pre-U), around 90% were Chinese, 7% Indians, 2.9% Malays and 0.1% Kadazan (Me!!) . Even then, the Malays are mostly from Brunei. Only 1 or 2 were actually from KL itself. And I was the only Sabahan there. I guess it's because Singapore practices meritocracy, and not, you know, rascism.So the non-Bumis and non-Malays have as much chance as the next person.

So, no matter how you look at it, Singapore trumps Malaysia, every single time.There's practically zero corruptions, their efficiency is just amazing, and everyone can be assured of equal opportunities, regardless of their race.I know what I said about Singapore before, about how it is not worth it because of all the W.A.A they have. Still, it is the perfect stepping stone to better opportunities, opportunities I know Malaysia won't have for me.

P/S= Please, please, please, let me get the interview because I know that's where I can truly convince them of my worth. Please God, pretty please?

I'm sorry I made such a drama of this whole thing, tears and all.

Thank you

Thank you for being there;
 For showing me the path;
Thank you for always caring and giving it all you have;
Thank you for not running when I needed your help,
 and thank you for always staying by my side,
and giving me the courage and the pride to do things I've never done before;
Thank you for always being there for all of the sad times and the thrills;
Thank you for always telling me what’s wrong and what's right,
and thank you for helping me on the path to life
But most of all, thank you for telling me that I can,
 and still reassuring me that you'll be there in the event that I can't
THANK YOU.
__________________________________________________
Today's the day, and I'm scared. But I'm ready, and I'm gonna show that I'm capable of this. Whatever the results may be, so be it. I've done my best, so no regrets. I need a hug

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege

     I'm certainly not one of them, I'm stupid everytime, man I'm dumb!
So I took this IQ test to prepare for the freaking scholarship test next week, you know, the one I surely won't get. Whateves lar. Oh, and my IQ is apparently 122. WOW, kinda low don't you think, a score you'd expect an ape to get.

An example of a general IQ reference chart I.Q. Range (15SD) Intelligence Classification



25 - 40 Severe mental disability


40 - 55 Moderate mental disability


55 - 70 Mild mental disability


70 - 85 Borderline mental disability


85 - 114 Average


115 - 130 Above average


130 - 145 Moderately gifted


145 - 160 Highly gifted


160 - 175 Exceptionally gifted


Over 175 Profoundly gifted


     Fine, maybe it's not sooooo bad, but I thought got chance I get the gifted section of the people. But no, my  IQ range has the word average in it. Great.

So this is what they describe for people MY standards.
Inventive Inquisitor
____________________________________________________

Your IQ Score is: 122

You have the unusual talent of being equally good at both mathematical and verbal skills (ini yang saya suka!). That, paired with your thirst to learn through experience, makes you an Inventive Inquisitor.(whatever that means)



Your strength lies in the methodology you have naturally adopted to understand the world. Basically, you have perfected "learning through living." You have a unique ability to teach others (look at this NERD! Haha) by taking them through actual experiences. Your talents come in handy especially when confronted with unfamiliar or unproven situations. Most people search their brains for previously stored information that might help in a given situation. You, however, take things as they come and see things as they are. You are a great improviser (more like bullshitter) and are probably open to an unusual amount of change. Another Inventive Inquisitor who demonstrates this very point was Ben Franklin (Eww, wasn't he assasinated or something?). He suspected that lightning was a naturally occurring electrical current and realized he was correct once he conducted his famous kite-flying experiment on a stormy night. This is the type of novel approach that keeps your perspective fresh. Chances are, it has also helped you develop an unusually worldly sense of things. (What do you mean unusual?!) You use your inherent wisdom to branch out from what others too quickly assume to be the most "rational" solutions. This talent enables you to approach things creatively instead of following the rigid paths of life. (This line makes my day. At least i'm not, you know, W.A.A)
____________________________________________________

P/S: Wish me luck, I know I'm gonna need it. A lot of it

Keep talking . . . . . I always yawn when I'm interested (RANTS AND VAINESS ALERT)

      I always thought I was the biggest git, EVER! I mean, I'm vain, selfish, self-centered, bitchy and more. What?! At least I tahu sedar diri oso okay. But I was wrong. I'm not the biggest GIT. YOU are! You think very nice kah you go and ask teacher what experiment coming out for BIOLOGY! and not tell us? Not that I need the information, I've done what most people call studying. But still,  exam is suppose to be fair, where a person is judged by their ability, not by their ability "to get their hands on soalan bocor". Fine, sometimes teacher gives us a little heads up, but at least it is still fair because everyone has that same information.

     But when you hog that type of info to yourself and only choose to tell a selected few of your friends, then that's just wrong! Thank God I got a wind of that, cause then I told everyone in class 30 minutes before exam and made the exam an even playing field it should be. I saw how your face fell, bitch. What, trying to take my Biology throne is it?

Well, you're welcome to try. Getting 82% is not that hard, I would know. Don't hate me because I never have to work hard like you do and still beating you in everything, every single time.

I made mistakes in drama. I thought drama was when actors cried. But drama is when the audience cries

     Okay, maybe our drama was more comedic and the audience tends to laugh at the various hilarious scenes, but still....

     Well, all I have to say is skipping school to watch the drama competition was TOTALLY worth it! It's really inspiring to know that this people put a lot of effort and sacrifice for only 20 minutes worth of talking and action. And watching Convent perform during that duration of time made me wanna cry cuz it was just SO DAMN GOOD.

    Fine, maybe we did not dethroned La Salle, but 2nd place is not bad. Hey, no regrets rite guys?! U noe I love you people, even though you guys call me a git and a perv. Well, at least I have friends to hiss with and AT now. Jangan kau, my skills have improved. I hissed at the school's pregnant CAT and it ran. I've never felt so satisfied.

     I am so tempted to mock but since I'm a reformed person, and Landy has warned us not to, I shall not do so. Darn, and I had enough material to last me the whole week. Oh well, on a side note, waste your time by reading this poem.

If my love were an ocean,
 there would be no more land.
If my love were a desert,
you would see only sand.
If my love were a star-
late at night, only light.
And if my love could grow wings,
I'd be soaring in flight
 
p/s: Good Lord, mid term exam will be on next friday and I haven't started any studying, mati lar saya kali ini tau, I see a big fat FAIL in my future, Good Lord.
 
p/s: I don't like you nerd, because of ur bad INFLUENCE, I keep on saying Good Lord these days. Good Lord! :p

Today was a Fairytale

     It really was for me. It was the first time in a long time I have felt all the burden (well,almost all) has been lifted from my shoulders. No more competitions to fret about, no more missing classes, no more missing moments in classes, I guess you get the idea.

     So many things had happened that I can't condensed it here to make it bearable for people to read. I'm gonna miss Convent you know. Maybe not the heat, maybe not the lack of space, maybe not the incompetent teachers and maybe not the drama. But I'll definitely miss the students, some teachers, the activities, the spirit, all the experience that has made become a better person.

     I might even miss the school's haters, it amuses me to see just how far they are willing to go to show their dissatisfaction towards us. It amuses me how they think that it affects us when they show how much they hate us, when it only exhibits their immaturity.


    To me, the friendship forged is so much more important than any trophy or certificates or prize money. When I go out there, all I want is to have fun. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever.

    And I absolutely do not believe in hurting others for the sake of competition, because all of this will come and go, but once someone is offended, they'll remember it for a lifetime.

P/S: Does losing your purity ring means your no longer pure??? Whatcha talking about?!  

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes…just be an illusion.

     I'm basically a surrogate mother right now, since my parents are in KL from today till this Thursday, which they decided to do in like a minute. I never knew my parents were this impulsive.Wana know what's more 'awesome'?

Mum Me

*calls*

I bought you something awesome today, you will totally love it!

OMG OMG OMG, baju kan? Dress, blouse, t-shirt, what?!

No lar. It's an alarm clock!

*cue crickets sounds*

Wat the h---

It's so good ok, multi-functional. Got FM radio and crapcrapcrap. Don't need batteries also, it's like, solar-powered.

Oh WOW, I'm so amazed mum.

You better be, it cost me 150 Ringgit.

Wat!

Yeah lar, I want to make sure you can bangun awal and study. You know kan memory retention better in the morning. So are you studyin?!

Sure, I'm like reading chemistry *padahal doing links on bloggie*

Good, good. I expect my 'INVESTMENT' to be worth it, understand. So, you're not going to disappoint me, RIGHT?!

Have I ever?

Verdict: I'm effin dead. I'll be a disappointment. Figures, when you thought life was just gettin better. I wanna curl up somewhere and just write all day. Too bad, I'm the world's worst writer.

Once upon a time

     My grandfather is a storyteller. For as long as I could remember, Grandpa has been putting me to bed with his magical tales of faraway countries where princesses sing and puffy clouds drift over the castle turrets. I drifted off with them. Never in my life have I ever seen a princess. Nor have I ever seen a real live castle. I always used to ask him how he came up with wonders like these. But he would smile sadly, shake his head, and inform me that in a man's long life, of course, he could have seen many things. I've never known if his stories are even partly true. But in this dark and lonely life, any story would do.

     Every day, I woke up to the same darkness that engulfs me when I am asleep. Sometimes I have trouble telling apart reality from a dream. But then I would hear Grandpa's familiar jolly voice pulling me from my dreams. Other than Grandpa, I know exactly 27 people in my life. I supposed once, there were more, including my mum and dad. But they were here no more.

     

     We live a quiet life, in our dim, underground caves cut in the mountains, traveling through tunnels to our food farm, only ever leaving when the sky outside out potholes turn red, returning before the stars appear. The Sun is our enemy. The stars are our foe. We have long been taught they signify the two things that could easily kill us most—the heat and the cold.

     Each morning I washed up at our well and went to water the few fruit-bearing plants at the entrance of our cave. They lived under a large clear dome, where sunlight reached them but the heat could not. Then I quickly retreated back into the cave. I was taught not to stay out in the harmful sunlight for too long. Then, all day long I helped Grandpa make bread, tend to the 'farm' animals, teach the few other small children in next door caves, or weave fur clothing or. It was enough for us to stay warm, but not enough to protect us from the fluctuating climate of the outside world.

     That evening when the sun descended the sky, I crawled out onto the ledge outside the cave and gazed over the inky black sea surrounding our home. Perhaps Grandpa's castle lay far away over the water on some other island nearby. But it was obvious there was no way of getting to them.

     I had a lonely, isolated life. Times were hard but we always got through them. Never had I thought on our own little island much, much worse was waiting around the corner. It started the day I went to the well as usual. The bucket clanged against the sides as it went down—and struck the bottom with a thud. For a moment I subconsciously continued lowering the rope. Then I stopped in shock and ran to get Grandpa.



     The next few days were rife with chaos. All around people were in panic as they soon realized their wells were running out of water, too. To make things worse, the sky lit up with the promise of another ferocious summer and finding a new water source immediately became everyone's priority.


     
     Grandpa, as the oldest and most experienced of the people became their natural leader and he led young men out on excavations of water sources underground every evening at twilight. However, though all efforts were put into this mission, there was no water to be found except in small cacti atop the mountains rising out over the undrinkable sea water.

     I saw a side of Grandpa I had never seen before. He had always been like a cheerful boy trapped in an old man's body—wrinkles never seemed to exist on his face until the day the well ran dry. Now they came creeping up like the sun chasing shadows over the trees. That was when I knew things were a lot worse than they looked.

     I took it into my own hands to help him no matter how much he refused. Early sunset the next day we trotted over the dry hills that formed our island and scanned the barren land with our dowsers. We'd gone quite far when the dark sky rumbled overhead and the wind started blowing scalding cold in our direction. It was one of those vital dry storms we were always experiencing. The men started yelling at us to hurry back but Grandpa stayed where he was. He was standing stock still, his eyes fixed on the slowly turning stick in his hand.

     It didn't take me long to realize he had found the underground water source we had been looking for so long. But it was also too late to reach him as the sudden gust of wind pushed us off our feet and we were sent tumbling down to hill side in a whirl of dust and sand.

     Grandpa saved our lives that day when he found the water. But after that day he never moved again.
"Grandpa!" I screamed. I scrambled over the dry, hard rocks over to him, my bare hands scratched and bleeding, slipping in my dirty, tattered shoes, my heart hammering inside my chest. I fell down on my hands and knees next to his motionless body. He spoke to me weakly, but with determination as if his life depended on it.

     "My dear child…I have yet to tell you a story I should have told you a long, long ago…"
And it was this day that Grandpa told me a story unlike any he'd ever told me before. Shadows of a distant memory flickered in his once dancing eyes as he spoke.

     "Once upon a time, our home was more green than blue. You could walk for miles and never reach the sea. There were houses. There were fields and flowers. You could walk in the sunlight without fear of being burnt. You could lie back to watch the stars without fear of being frozen.

     There were more than enough people to know. People lived in luxury—and oh, the luxury they lived in. In airplanes, you could fly. In cars, you could travel without even dropping sweat." Grandpa smiled bleakly. "If you could have seen a computer! An amazing invention there ever was. If only we had known what all this luxury would do to us, we would have gladly given up all our needs.

     But that was the way humans were. And luxury doesn't come without a price. That is just what happened, not long before you were born. The crash of water…the overwhelming rebellion of the world taking out on us all at once…sometimes I wish we had never survived.

Your parents died not long ago, fighting back. Now, it's just us. And soon, there might not even be us."

Grandpa's eyelids fluttered closed. "Once upon a time, the world was beautiful…"

I have always thought I was born lonely. Never had I actually ever felt this lonely before. No matter how much time may pass, it was always still coming back to get at me, bit by bit. This is what global warming has done to me.

Drive carefully! Remember, it's not only a car that can be recalled by it's maker

      You know what?! Life is precious. People always seem to forget that though. Sometimes, the true value of life can only be realized when you are a newbie driver driving home from the middle of nowhere in the pouring rain after the weather has been so hot for a few months.

      Yeah, thanks.

      If I get a Ringgit for everytime the car died on me in the middle of the road+ the number of times I nearly hit a pedestrian+the number of times I drove the car so fast over a speed bump you can literally hear the shock absorbers giving way, I would be able to pay for my shopping trip to Singapore in June. Thank God my driving instructor is a healthy person, or else she would have died of a heart attack.

     I feel like a failure now, I wanna crawl under my bed and cry, and it's not because of the driving, only.

    BTW, if you're think about wanting to have a license NOW, be prepared to pay a lot. Not just the fee itself, but also to retake the many test in case you fail. Let's see:

The whole package: RM 2300++
Retake computer test: RM 50
Retake test on the litar: RM 110 (Just for stoppin on bukit, side parking and tiga penjuru driving)
Retake test on the road : RM 110 (if I'm not mistaken)

     Now, I feel major guilty for making my parents pay up for me to learn all this new skills in my SPM year. Swimming is RM 150 per month+ RM 14 per entry to Sutera's swimming pool again. Then filling that stupid scholarship application form made me seem so stupid. Sometimes I wish I am a better child, you know, someone my parents can be proud of. Instead, they're stuck with this loser.

    On an Easter Sunday, when Jesus died and rise again three days later to give humankind the hope for an eternal life, I'm giving up hope. How ironic, huh?