Sometimes, I wonder if you look at my Facebook page, like I look at yours :)

Mendengar guruh di langit, air di tempayan dicurahkan

Gone are the days when getting 70% for physics was a GOOD thing. Now, it's just............. despicable! Everything academic related involving A-Levels currently is going yucks.

Timetable for mock exams:
Bio         : 21st April
M3 c1    : 26th April
Phy        : 3rd May
M3 c2   :  4th May
Chem    : 6th May

And exam's in 29 days.

But but but, why the skema malay peribahasa as this post's title????? Well, I'm kinda sorta going back to Sabah from 22th April to 29th April. Yups, I'm missing out on m3 c1 mocks :( The thing is this, when I came to KL for HELP under SASA scholarship, I was under the impression that I screwed SPM up. Well, let's just say that's not the case *coughs*. So, I'm coming back for the MARA interview, even though I actually asked to be interviewed in Shah Alam. God's intervention perhaps? Anyways, my mum is so convinced that I CAN get this scholarship, provided I really kick ass during the interview, which is why I'm coming back early. Yes yes, I know, don't count your chickens before they hatch. I KNOW. Can someone just please mention that to mummy? The dilemma is, even without coming back to Sabah, even in KL here right now, I'm lagging so far behind.

*Which explains why I didn't even bother to apply for Oxbridge*



Sigh. I have so much to be grateful for, I know. I can count so many people who has it worst than me. The problem is, I'm comparing myself to SOOOOOOOOOO many other people who are better than me. Such is the life of a Kadazan living in KL.

I HAZ SUCCUMBED TO KIASU-ISM. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.


But the thing is, I'm still going to skip school for 5 whole days. I think I'm basically dead. Since the interview itself is on such a late notice, chances are, I'm still going to sit for the exam IF, AND I MEAN IF, IF IF IF IF IF IF I get the scholarship.



Such is the uncertainties in life. Here's to guidance,hope, faith love, security and *cross fingers*, free education.

Father God, please give me the willpower to deflect distractions and the motivation to do everything it takes to succeed.

Here's to 20 hours caffeine-fueled days :) Oh, happy happy joy. NOT!

Welcome to Girl World. Only the bitchiest survive

Grrrrrr, you're soo annoying that I'm contemplating going full-on bitchy mode and just make you realize what a HUGE mistake you just made by messing with me. Don't you know that I have it in me to bite? I thought I was over it in high school. Apparently, the transition from college to high school is never clear cut. Not when people like you exist. But thing is huney, I didn't bite did I?

Coz your timing is lousy. Loooousy.

Why woman? Why the last month before exams? Why? Why can't you be all bitchy to me in the middle of the damn term? When I was bored out of mind and all emo bout becoming an adult and all that? Why? I would have welcome your bitchiness as an amusing distraction but now seeing that it is the last month, I am not gonna play that game with you. A month? I know you're good in this game and so am I, but seriously, even with you and me combine we can't create enough drama in a month before EXAMS. Lousy timing.

Boo, you whore.

But maybe...maybe if we would to end up in the same class next term and you still feel threatened by my presence onto your existence and if I have nothing else to do with my time, then yes, I'll bite. The game have been set anyways... and one player is already in. Up to me if I wanna play this with you but if I do then that means I actually have to pay attention to you and acknowledge your... existence.

So the only question left...are your worthy of my time and attention?

..........................I think you are.

Game. Set. Match. JULY 2011.

All I need is you

     I don't know what's going to happen in the future Lord, You know what I've been through today, but I shall remain strong and have faith that you'll work everything out for me. You always have done so God, so I give you my prayers and petition for my present and future now. I lay them at your feet, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. You promise to carry us through our darkest days right? I'm holding on to that promise now. I love you God, now and for the rest of my life~

Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

I HAZ BECOME A NERD

     Guess who just deactivated her Facebook account? It needs to be done, exam's in 43 days and I don't think I can score given my brain and it's limited brain capacity :/ Oh how I miss SPM and the days where I can study just a week before and still score. Hmmmmmmph, maybe that's why I only got 7A+ but oh well. I'm happy.

Which brings me to the topic of my post.

1 SADDENING FACT: Sabah only has 4 straight A+ scorers for SPM. In my class of 30 people in college alone, there are 3 STRAIGHT A+ peeps. And my result is among the lowest there. Why is Sabah so lacking, so behind the other states? Is it genetically coded in our genes that SABAHANS=STUPID? I really wish I can say that it's not true, but I can't. Statistics proves so. Yeah yeah yeah, I know that we are lacking in facilities, teachers, blax3 *rolls eyes*, but seriously? 4?! Only?!

I think I know why. Sabahans do not have good work ethics. Painful to hear, but the truth hurts.

But I shall not be defined by the brainpower and the work ethics of my community. I shall be the exception. I don't care if it hurts me now. I don't care if I have to come out tired and worn out. After all, the proof of gold is fire. I believe I have what it takes. And I can do it with God's help.

Ecclesiastes 9: 10, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might”  
EXACTLY. I'm now in A-levels, and I shall give my all in being an A-levels student. A good, amazing and outstanding one.




Colossians 3: 23-25, “Whatever you do, work at it with all of your heart, as working for the Lord, not for             men”.
Because at the end of the day, as a Christian, our success in life shall be a testimony of God's love and God's blessing in our lives. Our achievements can be used to encourage others, that truly, we have a God who provides :)


I feel sad for my schoolmates. I wished that I could help all of them to succeed in SPM, or at least to get straight A's. But I can't, but I tried my best in helping the few that I can. I guess, at the end of the day, they have to help themselves.


But you know what I hate the most? When people start to say, "I'm doing this paper on faith". What faith?! You had the chance to study, to ask questions, to revise, to catch up. BUT YOU DIDN'T! And when you get the results that you get, the tears start falling and you start blaming God. Like HELLO! God does not grant successes just like that. He is not Santa Claus. The fact that you're treating him like one speaks volume for your character. You dependent, needy, liability of a person! I hope you will grow up after this, I really do.
Because it will be painful for me to see you suffer if you don't grow up :(




P/S: I'm sick and tired of spammers, so no more c-box ;D