Bibliophile

     Giving tuition in Ranau was good. I never thought charity could be so expensive though. It's so time and money-consuming. I'm not complaining though. I loved it, every second of it. I loved it when I heard the kids gasped as I explained the concept of certain Add Maths topics to them. I know what they were thinking, that at that moment, everything that baffled them finally made sense.That the answers was in front of them all along. It just needed someone who knew enough to point it out. And for that I am happy.

     It was nice to share some thoughts and life philosophies of mine to them as well. There was this girl who asked, "Cikgu, did you study ten hours a day?". Gosh, me, studied? I wish I could bring them back in time with me to see what I did with my time. Which was basically, hours and hours wasted. My mum said, had I worked that much harder, I could have gotten the 10 A+ I desired so much. Hmmmmmph.

     But it's all in the past right? So, I told them the truth. That I did not bust my ass off for SPM. That I'd rather spend my time OUT of class joining competitions that I know I'll lose. But you know, I've learned so much from joining something and not winning it. It's hard to explain here, but I did. Especially in debate, which I'd joined for three years and have not even been in the finals for it. And because of that, I did not just become another straight A student.

     My worth, my substance as a person was therefore not solely judged by a single paper obtained after over three months of waiting. And for that, I am grateful. I might not have been THAT girl who kept to a fixed plan, who planned her day down to the very last second (WAA). But I turned up okay :)

     Although I may not be keeping in touch with the kids, (I don't even remember their names), I can only hope that sometime, somewhere during those two days, I taught them something. Not only how to score in SPM, but how to lead one's life.

Go and exceed expectations kids. Especially your own :)

     Something that's slipping out of my hand though is the luxury of time.The luxury to wake up late, sleep late, and read all the books that I had been meaning to read but hadn't. Oh God, if I have to read all my life, I'd be living in heaven.I honestly don't mind working in a library, just because. I'm into medical thrillers now, Tess Gerittsen is my new Jodi Picoult. I learn so much about the medical world reading these kind of books, about serial killers and mutilation ironically. But that's the best way to learn something

A HEAD FAKE.


A ‘head-fake,’ occurs when someone is taught a deeper lesson under the pretense of learning something simple — when a high school football player learns determination, teamwork, and perseverance while seeming to learn a proper three-point stance, for instance.


     That's how I intend to learn about medicine before college starts. I just don't have the attention, the focus needed to read through thousands of pages of boring medical journals, filled with words I can't even pronounce, let alone understand. 


     So, I'm reading through thousands of pages of twisted stories, one that makes sleep a distant memory for the horrors it potrays, but it also taught me that Hansen's disease is the formal name of leprosy, and that the reason why pancreatic cancer is the deadliest forms of cancer is because the symptoms are only noticeable at the latter stage, and treatment is near impossible because pancreas is at the junction of the major organs in the human body; namely the stomach, the liver and the lungs and that's why is so aggressive and metastasizes very fast.


     My head may be filled with worthless informations that my peers won't care about, but at least my head is filled with something. In this day of information technology, it seems people are getting dumber. Well, I'll do anything in my power for that not to happen to me. 


I'VE. NEVER. BEEN. SO. PROUD. OF. BEING. A. BOOKWORM.