The Hate Post

I hate the debate topics for this year. What the hell man! Change is not progress?! Want to kill us one by one bah this kan! Siapa bah si smartass yang think it's so funny to use dat, pervs!

So I guess the holidays won't be the holidays for me lar now, cause you know, got latihan debate and all. Story of my life lar kan. And then, guess what happened in class? Teacher Siska said to me kan, in front of the whole entire class, "Mirabel, you more playful this year." There, the one freaking statement freaked me out. ONE FREAKING SENTENCE ! I scared oh, what if I lose to unknown people in SPM, in my glory YEARS? Oh shit, I can't imagine!

And now, I'm in a dilemma. It's a feeling that I really hate. Last time, it was if I choose between debate and mooting. Now, I'm pretty sure I'm going to choose both. Then it was my public speaking speech topic. I wanted to do one on gay rights, which I have already and it is such a pretty and magical script. Unfortunately, since we live in a country where even a simple peck on the lips shown on tv is cut out, I don't think I can present that for the competition.And yes, I'm still searching.

Now, this. Am I willing to go to New Zealand for a year on a student exchange programe? It's not that simple because if I were to go, I would miss out on scholarship applications and I don't know if I can afford to do that. My mummy say kan I'm the best hope for scholarship in my family. I know I'm vain, and I own it. I'm a vain Bi-atch baby! But if I were to go, I'll go to high school there for a year and maybe just continue staying my university in NZ. Dilemma, dilemma.

I can't do all this right now. I need to go back to Form 1. It was a heck lot easier facing life then. Oh, and to Landy, make sure we win drama okay? Must!