Heal me, I'm heartsick

     How many times can a heart go through heartbreaks and separation before it stops being whole?


I really don't think a person can put a conclusive figure on that, cause I guess, what can't kill us will make us stronger, right? Living away from home, from my comfort zone, really opened my eyes to how life really works.SOMEHOW, SOMEWHERE, SOMETIME, it's all gonna be okay. I'm the living proof :)

SPM really opened my eyes to alot of things. In high school, I was never top anything. I was always that girl who joined something because there happened to be a spot left; and they needed someone to complete the team. Remember public speaking as well? Remember when I was the 3rd choice? Remember how I was only given three days to write a script? Remember how I still joined out of eagerness because I was never given a chance to join anything else? Remember how it was during the mid-year exam? Remember how I won?


Yes, my whole life, I was never considered good enough for anything. I was angry at my parents because they never pushed me to be an overachiever. They say it's because they claim that they'd rather see me live my life out as carefree as possible, and not be sucked into the competitiveness that usually comes with being an Asian. 

However, i loathe mediocrity. I loathe being average. So I just tried my best, in everything. Sadly, doing your best is not easy when people continues trying to push you down. And yes, I'm talking to you, my dearest principal and MOST teachers in Convent. How does it feel having your prodigy, the carrier of your dreams hopes and aspirations to NOT live up to your expectations? How does it feel to have a NOBODY on the other hand to get that article written solely for her in the newspaper?

Yes, revenge is indeed a dish best served cold. 5 years cold in fact. But nothing has ever tasted as satisfying. I WOULD KNOW. So let this be a lesson to you all my dear juniors. It's not who starts well, it's who ENDS well.

I'm glad that despite my underdog title, I did it with God's help. So thank you God as well. You're awesome, you know that? Oh wait, you are all-knowing :D

So how do I wrap this up? Oh yes, let's end  with the underdog theme.

Have high expectations.
Never expect to lose.
Always prepare a victory speech because who knows, you might use it someday. I just did <3
Celebrate your successes, then move on quickly.

AND
ALWAYS
BE
HUMBLE

Now, I'm back to being the underdog in KL. Wish me the best as I  go on another long, arduous and hard journey to the top. But hey, if I can handle 5 years of that in high school, I believe I have what it takes for this. God willing.

xoxo
MIRROR BELL