The last time a post was published here, I was still a med student.
Now, it’s the year 2023 and I’m turning 30 this year! WTF how did that happen? I used to think 30 is such an old age and where you ought to start preparing for a funeral. Which leads me to a slight crisis of how I am quickly approaching this milestone, full of dread.
To catch up in a sort of chronological manner
1) I spent my 4th and 5th year in medical school being sucked into KPOP as an ultimate fangirl for Nu’est. I somehow managed to juggle that obsession (which is fueled by hours of catching on all Nu’est contents online available plus immersing myself into the word of kpop Twitter and Discord).
2) Somehow, I also managed to pass medical school, and tried hard to keep the ophthalmology dream alive by spending time in Moorfields and New Jersey on my electives (circa April-June 2018).
3) I did FY1 in Wexham Park Hospital (one of the worst experience of life but also incredibly life-transforming) and then moved to Oxford for FY2 (because I got an F2 ophthal job there!)
4) Feb 2020, I interviewed for Ophthalmology Specialty Training and was appointable but not ranked high enough for a job. I also got a GP job without interview in Bromley, thanks to a high enough MSRA score. However, the thought of becoming a GP made me want to die. I believe it’s one of the hardest jobs in the world, and I was not equipped to handle the work. Covid also hit this time, and I did geriatric medicine placement in John Radcliffe, immersing myself into the work and crazy rota hours (which broke a lot of the BMA junior doctors contract rules lol) to help me forget about my own pain.
5) I managed to secure a clinical research fellow job in Ophthalmology as my FY3, buying me another year of time in Oxford. As I had some ophthal experience and a lot of the International fellows left Oxford to return to their home country due to lockdowns which could’ve meant being stranded in UK otherwise, I was also promoted to be on the Oncall rota. Crazy times.
6) Tried Ophthalmology recruitment again, this time battling a covid-era change in interview style. This time, I was made unappointable. In the meantime, I managed to secure a radiology training job in Essex. Did not prepare beyond speaking to two radiology registrars (that I am highly privileged to know). Decided for the sake of my mental health that I could not try for ophthal a third time.
7) August 2021: became an ST1 radiology registrar with no baseline knowledge whatsoever. Had to battle insecurities with this job. Passed Part 1 anatomy and physics first time. Another ST1 who I work with also in same boat. Thank you God that she’s my colleague, and now friend.
8) Currently, I am an ST2 in radiology, and have now decided on cardiothoracic as a subspecialty. Blessed with amazing consultants in a separate hospital to where I’m based at for my oncalls.
I’m just updating here because this is escapism for me. Thankful for this life. Thankful that God has lead me to this place at this moment. Can’t wait to fill this spaces with more words, and maybe pictures.
At least I’ve tried,
Bel
